Relationship? What relationship? Once football season starts, he sees to forget there is one. If it were another woman, you might try losing fifteen pounds and buying a black teddy. But when he's glued to the TV during football season, he would not notice anyway.
Is there ahaps a way to save your relationship from the clutches of the NFL? Or at least to improve it at some point before the Super Bowl?
Well, let's explore the options. You can find other things to do while the game is on. Knitting. Shopping. Kung Fu lessons. But it sees that, from August pre-season through February Super Bowl, the game is always on. Which could work, if you're the kind of person who likes a lot of space in your relationship.
But what if you do not? What if you're more into all caring, sharing stuff? Well, then, the next question is: why are not you enjoying football with him? Or – lest we be accused of being sexist – with her?
What if we went into this thing without the prejudice of pre-programming? What if we changed the name of the game from football to. . . Oh, maybe Pig Skin Play ? Hmmm. That does not sound too appetizing. How about Passing Fancy ? Actually, although you may not realize it just yet, that's a pretty descriptive title.
Anywhere. Let's say you've never heard of Passing Fancy . And no one has ever told you only men like Passing Fancy . So with no malice aforethought, you and your lover sit down in front of your TV to watch Sunday Night Passing Fancy .
The first thing you notice is those colorful uniforms. And (well, this you think but do not say) are not the guys in them simply yummy eye candy.
Okay. So far, so good.
But when the game begins, you say, "Oh my! They're all rushing around so fast! I can not understand what they're doing."
Your beloved chuckles tenderly and says, "Sweetheart, it's really a very simple game." See? The bunch of guys in the blue jerseys are trying to get past the bunch of guys in the red jerseys.and if they get all the way to the End of the field, they score six points. "
"Oh," you say. "That was easy. Is that all there is to it?"
"Almost," responds your beloved. "The guys who score the six points also get a chance to add another point by kicking the ball between the goalposts." He good-naturedly points out where the goalposts are located. "And if they can not get to the end of the field before their turns run out – they keep getting four chances to move the ball ten yards – they're allowed to try kicking the ball between the goalposts even though they didnt Make it all the way to the end of the field. They get three points for that. "
"Oh," you say again. "Sounds simple enough. But what happens if they do not get their ten yards in four tries?"
"Well, then, the other team gets to take a turn," he says, smiling indulgently.
"I see," you say, beginning to explain what's going on. "And I guess who scores the most points wins, yes?"
"You've got it, Sweetheart," he says proudly.
And that's it. That's Passing Fancy .
And now that you know what's going on, you're free to watch the true beauty of the game.
You begin to see the agility of the runners, the balletic grace of the pass receivers. . . Why, you now realize, this is Swan Lake in cleats! Only with a surprise ending. Well, okay: maybe it's a little bit more violent. But to be fair, let's not forget what happens to the poor swan.
Anywhere. What's not to like? Simplicity. Grace. Beauty. A surprise ending. Cute butts. If no one ever told you women are not supposed to like Passing Fancy , you'd absolutely love this game!
So. Are you going to let 'them' tell you what you should like? You know: real women love to shop, hate football, and are afraid of mice. Well, maybe they have a point with the mice thing. And the shopping.
But the snuggling up with your lover to watch Sunday Night Passing Fancy . . . Egypt Sunday Night Football, as the case may be: that should be your call, do not you think?